Now you ain't got to stand up tall

So uh. It's been nearly two months. I kind of lost interest in the whole journal thing. And most journal-associated fandoms. Class kind of curb stomped me at the end of the year, too. The problem with all those English classes is all the writing.

Been sleeping too much. Mostly playing BioWare games in my downtime. Classes have started again.

I have the most boring life ever.

Well, that was like a whole week of suck. In fact, I think it covered all of next year's suck quota too.

2012? You are not allowed to be awful.

First day of classes is over with. It isn't looking too bad but between my anxiety and self-esteem issues, I keep needing to cheer myself up. At least it's working.

Cleaning is going well. I've almost finished most of what needs done before my sister gets here.

Classes start tomorrow. I think this semester will be better than the last even though I'll have more classes that require more reading. I'll be at school for an hour and forty five minutes between classes, so I'll be able to get some uninterrupted homework time in, which will ease the burden of what needs done at home. Maybe working out a cleaning schedule will help, so that I don't end up doing all the chores, too.

Pupcake got two walks today. I made him come home before he wanted to because he scraped his leg and it was bleeding. It's probably a good thing that I did anyway, he's a silly boy that doesn't realize he's going to get tired walking home and likes to go too far and exhaust himself.

I haven't spent much time playing the last couple of days. I started to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and about halfway into the first episode, my mother woke up and started throwing a fit about going to the store. So it got pushed to the back-burner. Once I'm done with the cleaning today I'll try to watch more. I also want to get back to Game of Thrones. I stopped after the second Bran chapter and needed reassurance before I could go on. I've just felt too guilty doing things that were not cleaning.

My sister gets in Friday night. I can't wait to see her!

I'm sort of hoping having a list here will help. At least I'll feel more ashamed if I don't get things done. So here is today's things to do:

- Dry current load of laundry
- Wash & dry the dog's comforter
- Clean kitchen counters and cabinets
- Spot clean floors
- Vacuum & mop floors


And tomorrow's:

- Clean downstairs bathroom
- Clean out refrigerator and freezer
- Clean back of chairs in kitchen

Thursday/Friday:

- Wash sister's bedstuff
- Clip Polly
- Clean rabbit room

Generally I try to do the temperance thing in fandom. I've long since had my days of being a jerk, and aside from complaining to nagia when something bothers me, I just let things slide.

It is, however, nice to occasionally have the angry WHARRGARBL response rather than saying nothing.

For the record, erasing the flaws of the male characters and exaggerating those of a female character is gross in any situation. Bashing fic is gross in any situation. And throwing an OC Mary Sue in so you can go "look how awesome my flawless character is compared to this angry, ignorant harpy" is gross in any situation.

It's standard fare for the Pit but I expect a little more out of more adult communities.

That was unimpressive. My father had me take my mother and the pets to my uncle's. If something did go badly, they would be hard to corral for a quick exit. Not that anything worth leaving the house happened but hindsight.

We lost power at my uncle's and there was flooding but no power loss at my house.

This storm was way, way over-hyped.

So. I live in one of the areas that's being required to evacuate. This will be fun.

Pulled a muscle in my shoulder. It didn't start out too badly but it took me more than a day to realize that standing with my arm at my side, and not resting on something, would cause it to hurt. I am just that smart.

It's made things like walking the dog and washing the dishes unduly frustrating. The good news is that screwing around on the computer instead of doing anything useful is still painless!

New Lackadaisy! This calls for icons. Also, with Rocky uh... in no condition to be helpful, I'm eager to see what Ivy does.

Ooh, and a new Mass Effect 3 trailer. Why didn't I check twitter earlier today?

(I'm just going to go ahead and turn this into a real post.)

I was in sort of a bad mood earlier, funny how the littlest things can make an entire day of 'meh' seem so much better.

Not much has been going on. My mother continues to get worse. I've started taking Apollo for his morning walks again. We stopped them when he was so sick but now he's feeling better and perks right up when he sees his leash and harness. Also trying to keep up better with the cleaning in the kitchen (where my mother spends most of her time spilling things). It's frustrating but oddly rewarding.

My sister is pregnant with twins and I am still have a 'wat' reaction. My sister. With kids. It doesn't seem quite real. She'll be out here for a few days starting on the second.

Also. My iPod broke (under warranty, thankfully), then my headphones broke, then my mouse broke. I feel like everything electronic I've touched over the last week or so has died on contact.

In other news, after awhile of not playing I picked up WoW again and all I can say is, "fuck you, flamewalkers." That and while I still enjoy playing, the story and the characters have gone to hell. I think I need to pretend that nothing after Warcraft 3 happened. (Cairne will live forever, you bastards.)

The last month, I've been reading a lot of manga online to pass the time since I'd gone through my video game phase (I am in sort of a multi-interest phase now and deeply confused; this never happens). Nothing particularly noteworthy. I caught up on Bleach. It's still Bleach. I did not catch up on Naruto although one of these days I will because I still like the characters and have a morbid interest in how it will end. From what I understand, One Piece is actually the best of the three big Shounen Jump series but I've only gotten one chapter in.

Time to feed the pets and then for Rachael Shepard to tell Kaidan no.

I don't have any icons for the things I've been most interested in lately. =/

I slept for like eleven hours last night. I think I needed it. Today has been errands and chores and more chores. But there will be Mass Effect once I'm done with the dishes and maybe some icon making.

I always want to DO ALL THE THINGS at once. I can't just like. Really want to play Mass Effect and do it. I have to want to do like twelve different things at once and then be indecisive about what I'm going to do.

And this is just a rambling way of saying I haven't died or disappeared.

Haven't posted in forever again. My attention has been all over the place, mostly playing Mass Effect games and starting a rewatch of Gargoyles, which I haven't seen since I was pretty young.

Opinions on ME games:
1) You will never be as awesome as Commander Shepard.
2) Tali, Wrex, and Garrus are the best spacebros. Mordin can come too.
3) BioWare has some pretty awesome developers.

And the real reason I'm making this post: ( Ridiculous Gargoyles screencaps )

T-tired.

Cried while cleaning up another of my mother's spills. So very tired.

Apollo seems to be doing better. We switched from giving him both his anti-inflammatories in the morning to one in the morning and one at night. I think that's helping. That or the weather getting warmer. Either way, he's eating more regularly and has more energy. We went for a walk today for the first time in a long time. He didn't get very far and he slowed down a lot on the way back but it's more than he's done in months.

School is school. There's one class that was just an absolute clusterfuck that I'm going to try to get out of, even if it is late and I have to take a penalty. Failing that, I'm just not going back to it because it is far too much stress for a class I'm just going to have to take over regardless.

My mother has screaming, crying fits pretty much all day every day now. It doesn't matter how many times she goes out, she starts right in on how she hasn't left the house in ages as soon as she gets home from somewhere. My father seems to be of the opinion that we can take care of her as long as she can get (sort of) get dressed or go to the bathroom on her own but this is... hard on the rest of us.

In other news, my iPod broke awhile ago and can only play one song at one volume, so I'm going to look into getting a new one. I miss my musical escapism. Being able to put headphones in and tune out the world would be very handy about now.

I started the new anxiety/depression medicine and have spent a good part of the last few days in a drugged haze. Today is better, it wore off after being awake for only three hours. I'm still tired and headachey but that's not too bad; it's the disconnected, drugged feeling that I can't stand.

Being able to think clearly for more than a few hours a day is very nice.

Can this day be over yet?

Life in general:

- Uncle got out of the hospital and is going okay

- We figured out that the dog's problem was just pain from his arthritis, he's on anti-inflammatory meds and doing mostly better

- My anxiety has spiked so badly that I start panicking just thinking about things I need to do, I was panicking when I went to the doctor to get my meds changed and I still don't have new ones because I need to get a less expensive one it the same family of drugs. Over three hundred dollars for thirty pills is way too much.

The fun stuff:

I probably didn't mention playing Dragon Age: Origins here before because mostly I talk about it with nagia but I love it. I almost quit in my first oh... thirty minutes on my first playthrough because I was so horrified by my poor character getting her face eaten by a giant spider. (Overwhelm is the worst thing ever on giant spiders.)

I have some minor issues with it. Mainly that the wide open world style of the game keeps the companions on the underdeveloped side until Landsmeet. They react exactly the same in say Orzammar if it's the first or last place you go. They still felt like complex characters who were capable of development (and do go through some) but it was a little annoying.

Also, the armor is ugly. And a lot of it looks terrible on female characters.

I don't have many complaints about this one.

Of note:

- My DA:O obsessions: My F!Amell's hips (see icon), Sten, Dog, Shale, and a little more mildly Zevran.

- Four possible love interests and I ship my F!Amell with Sten. Good job, self. Improper shipping practices. I haz them.

In summary: I love this game. Except the giant spiders. I don't love the giant spiders.

Final Verdict: If you like video games, there is a good chance you will like this game.


Dragon Age 2 I've been much more critical of. It just has more things that annoy me.

The Good:

- Varric
- Hilarious, likable characters
- The dialogue wheel!
- Scything enemies as a two-handed warrior
- Purple option/comedy&charming/humor Hawke
- Varric
- WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, ELTHINA?
- The derp faces. Oh god the derp faces.

This game is full of fun dialogue and banters.

The Less Good:

- The plot lacks cohesiveness. They tried to do epic political but it lacks focus and... well, there's no real reason your character is getting involved. It feels like you're disconnected from the story.

- Characters, for all their likability, are one- or two-note characters. I love them, I really do but they don't carry the game.

- That's not Anders. It's Crazy Chuck and you can't tell me otherwise. I do not love him or Sebastian.

- I suspect Fenris was David Gaider's baby because in spite of his huge, ugly, dangerous prejudice? He never learns. There are no consequences whatsoever for him having this character flaw and he never grows away from it. The only other two characters who have this problem are Crazy Chuck (he needs to be nuts for the story) and Sebastian who is the most one-note of one-note characters. Isabela can go either way but at least some paths result in her growing the fuck up. =/

- STOP WITH THE FUCKING TRASH MOBS OH GOD PLEASE STOP or "Why does every single minor battle take so damn long?"

- Time-skipping: Three years later, everyone is just like they were three years ago! Hurray!

- There must be something in Kirkwall's water. Why so crazy, everyone?


In summary: It's a fun game. I don't want to scare anyone away. I don't think it compares at all to Dragon Age: Origins but I beat it and restarted it, so it clearly wasn't so painful that I couldn't get my money's worth out of it.

Final Verdict: HAWKE AND VARRIC BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL

So my aunt's mother didn't have something to do. She just refuses to stay more than one night in a row. For all that I'm surprised she helped at all after she said she'd never spend time with my aunt again, I am still frustrated with how little she does. She's the only person who doesn't have any obligations and she just... is still so selfish.

The good news is that my uncle's blood sugar is under control, so he should be home today or tomorrow.

If it isn't today, then my plans for a relaxing night and seeing my sister when she gets here are off. =/

(Yes, I am being hypocritical about selfishness. When she has to take my classes and care for my mother I'll consider us equals in selfishness.)

In other news, ohgodmidterm.

Class today, then a brief stop at my aunt's so my brother can run an errand, then home finally. I really want a shower and some sleep.

One regular class, a midterm, and about two hours of reading and outlining a paper away from a week off. Unfortunately, it probably won't be wholly restful with my uncle sick but a little less stressful at least.

My sister is getting in on Thursday night, which I'm sure will go a long way to making me feel less awful.

They're keeping my uncle at the hospital for a few days. My aunt's mother has agreed to stay the nights with her but she can't tonight. So I get to go straight from class to there and back to class in the morning on little to no sleep and little to nothing to eat and no coffee at all.

Everyone can go screw themselves Wednesday night/Thursday morning though. I have a midterm Thursday.